I have always known that I came into this life, to fulfill a certain set of tasks or lessons as I had the experience at birth of being aware – Oh not that I remembered the doctor stating “it’s a girl”. What I experienced was a sound – like the sound you hear when you put a seashell up to your ear. This sound made me ask the question or think the thought “How is this different” and the minute I did, I was shown or remembered what it was like to be in utero and then I remembered or re-experienced my reality before that, as a being with out a body.
As soon as I remembered my past or source, it was as if a movie started to the left of me, with images of what was going on in my new life. At first it was in black and gray, then black and white and finally in color. This movie would stop at a scene and I would experience it in full and it would then go on. This continued until my 5th birthday after which I remember pretty much everything.
It was at this time that I became aware of my dreams. If ever I had a problem or a question I needed answered, I would think about it before I slept and would then dream the solution to it. Many of my dreams would be precognitive in nature, showing me what was about to occur in my life. I accepted this as a natural part of my life and never remember talking about it to anyone. I also knew that I was different in some way and often wished I wasn’t.
This sense of inner knowingness, comfort and connection with my abilities continued until my very early 20’s. It was at that time that my abilities or consciousness level underwent a dramatic shift. I suddenly became “hyper” conscious. I began knowing and intensely feeling, things about people I passed on the street, or sat next to, or saw at a party. It was usually not happy things either- but images and feelings of their pain and fears and unresolved conflicts. I would feel and know it all. I absolutely hated this experience (it really upset me) and I had absolutely no idea what I was to do with this information though I often saw the solution to their dilemmas very clearly. So I began to avoid going out in public if there were going to be large groups of people around. I also started to act somewhat aloof and withdrawn around my friends and loved ones because I didn’t want to suddenly pick up on something they might be thinking or feeling – especially if it was about me!
I never really talked to anyone about my experiences (I had the unformed fear that maybe I was loosing it except, sometimes, I would mention to a friend that I thought so-and-so might be having a hard time or feeling a certain way. Even if my input was pooh – poohed at the time, my observation was usually proven correct eventually. Through time, I became somewhat more adept at blocking this information/feeling when it came to me – so long as I didn’t drink or change my reality in any way.
Then in my mid to late 20’s, my dream state began to undergo a dramatic shift. Just as I had undergone a sense of hyper-consciousness in my waking state it began to extend into my dream state as well. My dreams became super vivid and intense. I would have the sensation of being drawn to certain levels of consciousness, even when I would resist the experience. I began to have the almost nightly experience of being “visited” by two green lights. For some reason they scared me and I would always wake up right after I was drawn to them and before a true “contact” was made.
These dreams had been occurring for about a year when one night I dreamt that I was being drawn into a big, many storied, house. I had the sensation of flying or floating to the upper story of the house and then going down the hallway to the threshold of a door. As I stood in the doorway, I saw that there inside the room were the two green lights of my previous dreams. As I stood there looking at them, I somehow knew that the light that seemed to be lying on a couch was male while the green light standing next to him was female. The male stretched out his hand and beckoned to me, asking me to come into the room next to him. I shook my head and said “No, I’m scared!” and he replied “But how can you be afraid of me, I’m your best buddy and closest friend” and the female green light next to him said “Oh just make her do it – she’s being silly”. This really scared me and I thought/said “don’t listen to her”. Then I gathered my courage and walked into the room and touched the male lights hand. I had the immediate sensation of a very intense connection and immediately woke up. My first thought was “Wow, I did it” then I thought “What – what did I do?” Then I became aware that the connection with these green lights was so intense that they were in the room with me. This realization scared me so much that I turned the light on and had to sleep with it on for many nights after that.
I think I would have gone on having intense and strange experiences that I never talked about or tried to really understand if it hadn’t been for the following experience that occurred approximately one month after the green lights dream. At this time in my life I had a landscaping business and I would often wake up in the middle of the night and think about what I was going to do in the gardens the next day and sometimes plan a new gardening design. I would then simply fall back to sleep and awake in the morning refreshed and ready to go about my day. When I woke up in the middle of the night this time, I thought nothing of it and began planning my day and thinking of what flowers I would put where. When I was finished, I rolled over onto my stomach and closed my eyes preparing to go back to sleep. Suddenly, I heard the front door of my cabin open and heard the footsteps of someone walking down the hall into my room. Whoever it was then sat on my bed, put their hand on my back and said “I’ve been wanting to talk with you”.
Strangely enough, this time, I wasn’t really scared but when I tried to turn my head to see this person I found I couldn’t move and when I tried to speak and ask him (for I “knew” he was a male, who he was and what he wanted, I couldn’t speak. Finally using all my strength, I wrenched my head around and said “Who are you?”…and there was no one there! But, as I looked across the room I saw a pink swirling light. Now I was scared! “Enough already!” I thought, “I just want this to stop!”.
I had heard about a woman who was teaching psychic classes in the area and I had always thought that that was way too woo, woo for me, but that morning I tracked down her number and called her. Of course she was home and answered the phone on the first ring and I told her the whole story “green lights and couches and coming into my cabin and I just want it to stop and can you help me?” She told me that she had a class starting in a few days and that she really thought it would help me. I ended up taking every class she offered. Over the course of the next 3 years, I began to learn how to make sense of this gift of inner sight that I have.
Through training, I began to understand that what was happening to me around other people was that I was “reading” them or picking up on their unresolved conflicts. I began to learn how to control when I would receive or read someone’s information by training myself to only receive when I was in a trance state. I also learned how to separate someone’s information from their energy so that I could get the problem with out having to fully experience the emotions that went along with it.
It was during this training process that I began to expand my psychic abilities and to “see” the insides of the body and to receive information on all levels – body, mind, spirit and emotional. Suddenly all my life experiences made sense and instead of having a secret life I was afraid to talk about, I could share all my paranormal experiences with my teacher and class-mates and get help in understanding them. Through the classes, I began meeting other people who had similar experiences. I felt I had come home.
I now know that all I went through was designed to get my attention and to ensure that I didn’t avoid learning the lessons I needed to learn in order to do the work I was meant to do in this lifetime. Now I love my psychic experiences and because I understand them, I feel blessed to be able to receive information in this way. I understand that I have this gift in order to give service to others and to help them in moving closer to enlightenment. The gift I get out of this is that by helping others I move closer to enlightenment myself. That to me, is what is truly meant by a win/win situation!
Reiki Master Teacher
Vibrational Medicine Master Teacher